Big Learnings

A former colleague and I have recently reconnected. The colleague asked, "What have been your 'big learnings' from the past ten years?"

Here are my answers, born of experience in education, in community mental health, in business, and in person:

(a) I cannot control the thoughts, feelings, observations, awarenesses, opinions or behaviors of others. My attempts to do so are usually born of fear.  I can invite, I can inform, I can encourage, I can attempt to manipulate, I can even attempt to force, but I cannot "make" anyone think, or do, or feel anything about anything.  Including about me.

Others choose for themselves what they think, what they do, and how they respond to what they feel.

(b) If a newborn looks up into the eyes of its mother and doesn't see love and adoration - for whatever reason, intentional or unintentional on the mother's part - the newborn grows into an adult forever trying to hide its deepest secret:  It's a being not even a mother could love.

(c) Looks matter.

(d) Money matters.

(e) Looks don't matter.

(f) Money doesn't matter.

(g) A good cat is good company for (a) through (f) above.